All of us want to have beautiful relationships, a successful career and joyous life. But somehow, all of these things elude us. Do you know that your toxic habits may be the reason behind this?
In any self-improvement journey, we try to inculcate positive habits like exercising, waking up early, reading books but eventually we find that our lives haven’t improved much.
We are still plagued by same failures, negative thoughts and low-confidence.
So what could be the problem?
We often don’t realize that our good habits and routines are quietly sabotaged by our negative and toxic habits.
So while it’s essential that we build positive habits, it’s even more vital that we get rid of the toxic habits holding us back.
We don’t really understand what a toxic habit means.
A toxic habit affects you unknowingly. It potentially harms your mental as well as your physical health. Letting go and cutting off these toxic habits would be the first step to self-acceptance and to lead a better life.
In this article, we will pin-point some insanely toxic habits that you should destroy to improve your life.
1) Checking Your Phone the First Thing in Morning
Yes, I know. All of us must be guilty of this sneaky and toxic habit.
Why toxic, you may wonder?
When you wake up and check your phone the first thing in the morning, you’re starting your day by ruining your peace of mind.
Social media updates, emails, and to-dos lists only feed anxiety and stress right at the beginning of your day.
Instead of checking your phone as soon as you wake, you should start your day with a small prayer or affirmation of gratitude.
Just a few minutes of this exercise will give you an immense boost of productivity.
Try this for a week and you’ll find that this small step has many positive spill-offs the entire day.
One thing, I have realized by talking to my clients is that the most stressed-out people have one oft-repeated complaint. They always lament that they over-think a lott!
One of the major reasons why many people stress out is due to over thinking.
Overthinking is a toxic habit in which a person thinks about a situation that is going to happen in the future and makes a list of endless possibilities which might happen or things that might go wrong.
This is a negative trait as you often start to worry about things which may not even happen.
This not only wastes your time but also gives anxiety issues and stress as you end up overthinking every situation.
You should try to must remain calm and always have a positive mindset.
Overthinking often results in perfomance issues in every aspect of your life.
It also leads to anxiety which results in loss of sleep and a lot of psychological pressure.
Meditation and positive affirmations that some of the best ways to counter overthinking.
3) Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO)
FOMO is the short term for the face of the fear of missing out.
This situation is becoming common and is enough to cause a significant amount of stress in your life.
The fear of missing out basically means that you will have the feeling or the perception that other people are having fun without you. Or others are leading better life without you.
This is one of the most negative traits and the most negative habit which you must let go of immediately.
FOMO not just invokes a sense of envy among people but also leads to the self-esteem of various people going down.
The fear of missing out is especially connected with the usage of social media.
People look at others, view their stories, and look at the life which other people are living and compare themselves to others.
You should understand that on social media, you see only a “happy” slice of everyone’s lives. You have not seen their struggles, bad days, self-doubts, or failures.
FOMO has been associated with the feeling of unhappiness, unhealthy behaviors, and even distractions.
You must not let others affect your goals and focus.
Hence if you are guilty of FOMO then you should drop this toxic habit immediately.
4) Keeping Toxic People in Your Life
One of the most important things essential for you in order to live a happy and successful life is to be surrounded by friends and family who genuinely care about you.
The quality of friends you have affects your traits, their behavior as well as even their thinking process.
With age, you grow and realize that the quantity of friends you have doesn’t matter, what matters is the quality of friends you have.
You must have friends who are true and not toxic to you.
If you feel like a person is deliberately letting you down, and he or she is r sabotaging your mental health, then it is time that you should let the person go.
It is difficult to let go of toxic habits and other people but in order to lead a successful life, it is necessary that you have to be in peace and surrounded by people who actually care.
Hence, if you are surrounded by toxic people it is time to cut them off.
5) Not Letting Go of The Past
Everyone has a past, however, some people are so obsessed about their past that they are not willing to let go.
To err is human. To make mistakes is to be human.
You should not concentrate and cry about the mistakes you made in the past, but rather try to learn from them and not repeat them.
If you obsess about the past, you’re restricting yourself to the past and mistakes made in the past.
The wounds of the past will continue to fester in your mind thus inviting mental and psychological issues.
Mistakes are made by everyone, what is important is for you to learn the lesson and improve yourself.
If you are someone who is holding onto your past, it is time that you should move on and learn from the mistake rather than cry about it.
We are all well aware of procrastination; this is referred as delaying or postponing a work or something which is to be done.
This is one of the major and the main barriers which is blocking a person in order to get up and make the best of their life.
Procrastination is the act of putting-off or postponing a task as long as possible.
So while you continue to delay you important tasks that could potentially change our lives for better, we are letting our life slip sway.
One of the toxic habits that separates the achievers from failures is procrastination.
Successful people don’t procrastinate. They get on with the jobs that need to be done with full vigor and passion.
Underachievers, on the other hand, continue to while away their time postponing the work by filling up their time with useless activities.
The biggest problem is that you are aware of how important the task is for you. But you still dilly-dally because of many reasons.
One of the reasons could be the failure to look at the long-term and instead resorting to instant gratification.
There are many ways to counter procrastination such as making the tasks more achievable.
Another great way to beat procrastination is to design your surroundings to remove things which aid procrastination.
Do you waste your time in endless surfing on Facebook or Instagram? Delete the apps on phone.
Do you indulge in binge watching on Netflix? Unsubscribe from Netflix!
These simple fixes can help you beat the procrastination monster very easily!
7) Not Being Able To Say No
Are you unable to say no to unreasonable requests or demands from others?
This is one of the issue which not many people address.
If you’re one of those who are simply incapable of saying No then read on.
Friends, family, or colleagues often ask for some favors or have some requests which may cost you your time, money, or efforts.
While, it’s good to help others, you’ve be choosy about when to say yes.
In fact, you should learn to say no more than yes.
Saying yes, to every request and demand will sap you off energy and willpower to do things for yourself.
Be it in a relationship or career, your happiness and goals will evade you if you don’t learn to say No to unreasonable demands.
Don’t worry that others may get offended by your refusal. If they really are your friends and well-wishers, they will respect your decsion.
Don’t say yes just to please others or due to peer pressure. Look out for yourself and your interests.
Having a little bit of fun or helping others is never wrong but one must be able to find the difference of when to agree and went to disagree. If you have a more important work, learn to say no.
Do you always feel that you’ll be unable to have a successful career or a relationship?
That means that you suffer from self-doubt.
If you doubt about your ability to be good friend, mother, a daughter or a even a good worker then it’s confirmed that you doubt your abilities.
Self-doubt is problematic in two ways. Either, you won’t even start a task because you doubt your ability to complete it or you would sabotage the task because you’ve convinced that you are incapable of completing the task.
You will not be able to do it till you don’t try and give it your best shot.
Constantaly trying and believing in yourself might lead to wonderful results.
You must always trust your abilities and skills and go forth with full conviction.
9) Comparing Yourself with Others
One of the easiest way to make ourselves miserable is by comparing ourselves with others.
The act of comparing is uncharitable. And to compare ourselves with others is even bigger a sin.
Every person is unique. Each person has a different skillset, mindset, and attitude.
Your life is the sum of all these things and choices you have made.
When you start comparing your life with others, then everything becomes a competition.
Even Theodore Roosevelt has said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
A competition where someone has to win and someone has to lose.
If you feel that others are happier, richer, smarter and prettier than you then I will tell you a secret!
Everyone feels the same (to some extent)!
So, don’t bother yourself with comparisons.
Don’t drain your energy and focus and instead work on your goals.
10) Criticizing Yourself
This is one highly corrosive habit for your soul and mind!
If you constantly criticize yourself for your shortcomings, failure or mistakes, you’re setting up for life full of misery.
While self-evaluation of your strengths and weaknesses is good but constant criticism can make you mentally fragile
Constant criticism starts a cycle of a self-fulfilling prophecy where you fail in all aspects of your life.
Don’t blame yourself for every negative situation.
If you fail at something then don’t blame your whole self. You just failed at one specific task.
It’s not a reflection of your character as a whole.
Be kind to yourself!
Don’ berate yourself.
Speak to yourself as you’d speak to someone you love and want to encourage.
11) Insulting Others
Are you guilty of insulting people especially those who’re close to you?
Insults, snide comments and unkind jokes crush others spirit and bring toxicity in our lives.
If you also are prone to insulting others, watch your thoughts closely. You’ll see that your thinking pattern is negative.
Check yourself before you end up hurting others and ruining your relationship beyond repair.
12) Gossiping About Others
Spreading gossip is one toxic behavior which we do without even realizing. Gossiping is not only harmful for other’s reputation but also for our own.
A gossiper is never trusted by others.
Gaslighting is an act of creating doubt in another person’s mind which can hamper that person’s sense of reality, sanity or memories.
It is a psychological abuse which has ruined countless relationships.
14) Not Saying Sorry
Do you refuse to accept your mistakes and apologize?
More than helping the relationship or others, saying sorry is good for you.
Apologies reduce the conflicts and stress in a relationship which in turn helps in removing bitterness in you.
Apologizing also make others know that you’ve realized the mistake and you won’t repeat the behavior.
15) Holding Grudges
It’s not enough that you apologize. Sometimes, it’s also necessary to forgive and forget.
If the other person has asked for forgiveness then it’s important that you forgive. This will not only ensure that relationship is salvaged but is also good for your own mental health.
Though lying is sometimes necessary but making it a habit could be very problematic.
Constantly lying can ruin your credibility and authority.
Trust between partners is the foundation of a successful relation. A habit of lying can undermine this very foundation.
17) Emotional Blackmail
If you emotionally blackmail others in to accepting your demands then it’s sign of a serious problem.
People tend to resent and veer away from emotional blackmailers.
18) Blame Others
It is a very natural reaction in us to lay the blame on others for your failures and disappointments.
The fact is the you are solely responsible for yourself.
The buck stops at you!
19) Judging Others
It is very easy to judge others. Judging others doesn’t define others but defines you.
You judge others by your own standards and situation which may not be correct.
Everyone has a different perception of life. Everyone behaves and reacts differently.
So instead of judging others by their actions or behavior, try to understand the root cause and be more empathetic.
It is one of those toxic habits which troubles us more than others.
20) Seeking Perfection
Are you a perfectionist?
Don’t beat yourself over some failure on your road to success.
Nobody gets it right every time or even most of the time!
What matters is action!
Seeking perfection can often stop you from progressing.
Your dance will always have a room for improvement but don’t let that fact stop you from enjoying dancing.
Your software will have some bugs and need from more features, but you shouldn’t release it anyway.
The moral of the story is same for every aspect of your life, be it a personal or professional.
21) Seeking Validation From Others
It is very natural to seek validation, recognition and acceptance from others regarding your behavior, actions and achievements.
This is how you get feedback from the society. From this feedback you correct or improve yourself.
But to constantly seek validation from others ignoring your own self-validation is a toxic habit.
If you put others acceptance and approval at a much higher level than your own opinion and judgement then the habit becomes damaging for you.
The situation has exacerbated with the advent of social media. Of all the toxic habits, seeking validation from others has worsened the most in the modern times.
So, stop seeking validation from others and accept yourself.
22) Not Respecting Boundaries
One of the most underrated toxic habits is not respecting others’ boundaries.
Recognizing, understanding and respecting other people’s boundaries is very important in every relationship.
Not respecting or paying heed to other’s boundaries can cause friction and resentment in your your relationship.
23) Only Talking About Yourself
Want to know the easiest way to lose friends? Constantly talking about yourself.
If you only talk about yourself then you’re in danger of being declared as a narcissist.
While you may not be a narcissist, it signals that you’re emotionally distressed.
Not letting others speak and not being interested in their point of view is also an incredibly poor social etiquette and one of the most irritating toxic habits.
24) Giving Unsolicited Advice
I have been guilty of this until I realized that people at the receiving end don’t take too kindly to it.
Even though, I had good intentions, people thought I was interfering with their lives.
Giving unsolicited advice is one of the most innocuous toxic habits one can have.
If you also give advice without being asked for then you should stop it immediately.
25) Being A Control Freak
Don’t we know someone who is a complete control freak and wants to all things and everyone to happen and act according to his or her own wants and wishes.
If you’re also a control freak, it means that you’re also a perfectionist which brings its own set problems.
Trying to rein control all the time suffocates your friends and co-workers leading to negative emotions.
What toxic habits do you have and want to get rid of? Please share with me in the comments